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Category: Life

Social media that doesn’t make you feel bad?

Sometimes it feels like we’re living in a dystopian world–and social media doesn’t help. Like any communications channel, it can be used to spread good messages or bad. In my day job as a journalist, I’ve been writing quite a bit about attempts by government policymakers to try to make social media a safer space. However, there doesn’t seem to be much consensus on how to get this done.

In the meantime, we can try to control how social media affects our own mental health simply by choosing what platforms we use ourselves.

You’ll see from the social icons under my name at the top-left of this website that I’m on a bunch of them. As an indie author, I’ve often felt that I have to be in many places in order to (hopefully) find potential readers and communicate with current fans. But let me tell you, it’s exhausting to be everywhere at once, and I can’t say for sure I have accomplished my goals.

I told you a while back how I decided to get off Twitter (I did it before the name change!) and move to Mastodon. Well, Mastodon is a fine Twitter clone, and people do seem nicer there, but honestly I don’t feel passionate about tooting (ew gross). Lately, I’ve been spending more time on Bluesky (follow me: @adambenderwrites.com), another Twitter clone. It’s got some cool features, too, like using your web address as your username.

However, one thing I’ve never liked about Twitter–and it’s the same on Bluesky and Mastodon–is that certain users tweet/toot/post extremely frequently. Much more so than others. As a result, my feed ends up being dominated by one or two users. It’s not that I don’t want to hear from these people–I did follow them, after all. It’s just that I don’t want to hear from them this much and I don’t want them to always be drowning out the other, less chatty folks I’ve followed. In addition, the people that talk the most–at least in my feed– seem to be the ones who most make our world feel like a complete dystopia! So much bad news and cynical humor! I tend to leave the site in a bad mood as a result.

I think that’s why a Wired article caught my attention yesterday. The headline was “Maven Is a New Social Network That Eliminates Followers—and Hopefully Stress.”

Yes, please!

The platform eschews likes and follows in favor of letting pure chance play more of a role in what appears in users’ feeds … On Maven, you don’t have followers, so you don’t have to worry about what your followers want to hear from you, or how to gain more of them.

Wired.com

This idea of getting rid of likes and follows struck a chord with me. What if I didn’t have to choose people to follow? What if I didn’t have to worry so much about likes and retweets? That sounds like some sort of utopia!

I signed up yesterday. Uh, I’m not actually sure how to link to my own profile or if that’s even possible. But that’s OK! Maybe that’s even the whole point! I hope we connect serendipitously!

So far, I’ve had a couple friendly chats with folks that weren’t stressful at all. Will I stay on Maven? Who knows! It’s early days and I may lose interest like I have on other networks. That said, it’s exciting to see a new approach to this idea of social media — one that seems to consider users’ mental health as a core value. That’s why I’m rooting for Maven — or other platforms with a similar mantra — to disrupt what has become such a negative space.

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I Still Walk Beneath Dystopian Skies

Walking down Broad St in my mask again. Sky is full of smoke from Canada.

Is it bad that, upon seeing a smoke-filled sky, these were some of my first thoughts?

  1. At least it’s not a pandemic.
  2. The air quality danger is down to “very unhealthy,” so I can probably go for a walk!
  3. I’m still going to a rock concert tonight (Temples — very good!).
  4. Hey, now I can use some of my leftover N95 masks! Or maybe I can really get stylish and break out my old cloth masks!

Are we getting used to the kind of thing we used to read about in dystopian novels and post-apocalyptic films like The Road Warrior?

People often ask me if this kind of thing inspires me to write. Honestly, what it inspires me to do is to retreat into a popcorn video game like Marvel’s Midnight Suns or an optimistic TV show like Ted Lasso. Ah… fictional England, all they care about there is the next soccer football match!

I have been working, slowly, on a new novel. I am not addressing the COVID-19 pandemic or our imminent environmental doom. Those are great topics for other authors, but not much of an escape for me.

Yes, I’m still writing in the dystopian genre, and it’s not another comedy (though writing a political satire was a great escape from a depressing series of years!). I’m having a good time figuring out what makes my characters tick, as well as spending more time on the world building as well. In other words, I’ve been taking a lot of notes. However, I’m feeling optimistic that the end product from all this will be worth the effort.

Assuming the world doesn’t end first.

Stay safe, everyone!

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Goodbye, Bird Site. Hello, Mastodon!

So, I got off of Twitter. You probably know why. I think I just couldn’t stand all the toxicity and chaos, and honestly I was getting worried about the privacy and security of staying on, too. I know some people are waiting for the ship to literally sink all the way beneath the surface of the water, but honestly, I didn’t see the point of holding out another month or two. It’s not like there aren’t any lifeboats.

Respect to the folks playing out the sinking ship, I guess!

One lifeboat? Mastodon! Take a look at my brand new profile! I look forward to chatting with you there! I’m also still on Instagram and Facebook, but finding myself spending less time there due to the never-ending barrage of ads and sponsored content. I’m going to try to do better to keep this blog updated and be more regular with my newsletter. Those are probably the best ways to keep posted on my current projects.

Follow me at adambender@jawns.club

Speaking of, I recently blew the dust off a first draft of a short story I wrote years ago called “Six Straight Roads.” It’s not dystopian or sci-fi like I usually write. It’s kind of a nostalgic piece about playing Capture the Flag with my friends when I was kid. I brought it to a local writers’ group about a year ago, and got a lot of great feedback, but then I procrastinated on actually revising the thing. That was, until a couple weeks ago when I got COVID-19 again and got in some quality quarantine writing time! (Note: I do not recommend getting COVID-19; quarantines are the worst). Long paragraph short, I made a lot of progress getting “Six Straight Roads” into shape. I just need to do another proofread and it should be ready to go. I’m considering submitting this one to some mags before self-publishing it, so that could delay its release a bit more. However, my goal is to have it out to you all in some form this spring. Stay tuned!

I’m also in the early stages of writing a new novel. I’ve done a whole lot of notes and outlining, and have even written a few chapters, but it’s still pretty early days. I hope to share more soon.

For those of you looking to pick up one of my books on the cheap, Smashwords is about to launch their end-of-year sale. It runs Dec. 15 to Jan. 1. I will have some great deals on eBooks for all my novels, including my debut duology We, The Watched and Divided We Fall for free! You’ll also be able to get The Wanderer and the New West and Utopia PR for less than $1.50. That means you can get all four of my novels for the price of coffee, and maybe less, depending where you get coffee!

I’ve also got some audiobook sales running over at Spotify for the next few days. Grab the aural versions of The Wanderer and the New West for $4.99 and Utopia PR for $3.49 while you still can!

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Red October, Halloween, Etc.

I’m from Philadelphia, so let’s get this out of the way…

GO PHILLIES! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Philly Phanatic cheering for the Fightin' Phils!
The one and only Philly Phanatic / Credit: Sports Illustrated

OK! Thank you for your indulgence. In case you didn’t know, or you’re reading this in the future and have forgotten most everything about 2022 (that must be nice), the Phillies are in the World Series! And last night, they took Game 1 from the Astros in an improbable, come-from-behind victory in Houston. Down five runs! With an amazing game-saving catch from Nick Castellanos! So yeah, I’m pretty excited!

Oh shoot, I’m still talking about the Phillies, aren’t I? Once again, I thank you for your indulgence.

A spooky Victorian house that one can only assume is haunted.
A spooky Victorian house / Photo by Arianna Tavaglione

All right, moving on for real this time! It’s Halloween, so I thought I’d share a cool article from the Washington Post about why haunted houses are Victorian in so many books and movies.

I haven’t written much horror, other than a kind of silly short story called “The Roommate.” But I’ve always loved the genre. My favorite recent haunted-house thing was The Haunting of Hill House miniseries on Netflix. The Haunting of Bly Manor (Mike Flanagan did both but they’re different stories) was also pretty good. I’m hoping to check out Flanagan’s Midnight Club real soon, once I finish all the other peak-TV shows in my queue.

I’ve been reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. It’s my first Murakami book though I’d been hearing good things for a while. It’s a fairly strange, yet gripping novel. It’s got a little of that David Lynch vibe where a lot of it is dream-like and you’re not entirely sure what’s really happening. If that doesn’t scare you off, I’d recommend giving it a try.

You might know I’m kind of a comic book geek. I found really fascinating a biography of Stan Lee called True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee by Abraham Riesman. It’s not exactly a glowing depiction of Stan The Man, revealing that the guy probably didn’t create the Marvel Universe all by himself as many people think. It also chronicles a lot of truly crazy sh** that happened in Lee’s later years. Even if he didn’t necessarily create all those classic superheroes, though, you definitely get the sense that Lee was a master marketer and that Marvel probably wouldn’t be what it is today without his passionate self-promotion.

On the gaming front, I just picked up Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope on Nintendo Switch and am absolutely having a blast playing it.

Screenshot of Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope for Nintendo Switch
Mario+Rabbids Sparks of Hope / Credit: Nintendo

I loved the original Mario+Rabbids Kingdom Battle, and I’m happy to say the sequel has the best parts of that game with a whole lot more polish. Seriously, they couldn’t have been 100% confident when developing the original that people would embrace an XCOM-style strategy game teaming gun-wielding (ray guns, but still) Mario characters with weird bunny-things from Ubisoft’s Rayman series. However, it was obviously a winning concept, and the powers-that-be clearly gave the developers a big budget to run away with it in Sparks of Hope. It’s a pretty addictive videogame, and just writing about it makes me want to leave you mid-sentence to— 

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It’s my first Father’s Day, so listen to my dad’s new song!

Happy Father’s Day!

This is my first as a dad myself. My son Rishi will be turning one next month and I couldn’t be prouder! At this time last year, I don’t think I knew quite what to expect. Would I be a good dad? Would he think so? Well, 11 months later, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert at this, but I think I might be at least starting to get the hang of it! He’s a great kid and I’m looking forward to many more Father’s Days ahead!

It all makes me appreciate my own dad even more! There’s a lot of great things to say about that guy, but for brevity’s sake, let’s just highlight one — he’s one heck of a musician! The elder Bender plays guitar, banjo, harmonica, mandolin and more, and he’s always recording when he’s home. I think you’ll dig it if you like folk music, or artists like Bert Jansch, Mark Knopfler and Richard Thompson.

Earlier this month, he released a new digital single called “If You Could Convince Me.” It’s available now on Apple, Spotify, Google/YouTube Music and all the other usual suspects! Here it is below on YouTube and Spotify.

You should also check out the album he released a few years ago, Terrain!

Hope you enjoy! Happy Father’s Day, Dad! And to all the other pops out there, have a super-fantastic day!

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Adam Bender | adambenderwrites.com | watchadam.blog